My tenth year at Burning man was a wild success. I felt happier, healthier, more sober, fed and well-rested than I have in my 9 preceding burns. I felt more able to connect with my friends, campmates and community than ever before as well. Something is shifting in me that I am so happy about. I am finally taking a decided interest in my health and wellbeing, both physically and mentally and it is being reflected back to me in the deepening connection I feel with others. I wandered aimlessly from lake to ocean post-burn until the 11th, when I took myself to a business and personal development event in San Jose, California called The Client Attraction Summit, put on by Thrive Academy.
I don’t believe in accidents. It was succinctly timed that I was as exhausted and emotionally vulnerable as one is after Burning Man, while also being faced with intense inquiry and intimate experiences at this event. I pushed myself hard to exit my comfort zone and pinpoint exactly what about the workshop was uncomfortable to me. I think by allowing myself to express emotions and to follow winding thoughts like: Why am I here? Do I deserve this? Am I capable of making a difference? Do I have anything worth sharing with the world? I was led more toward things like: Who am I to not share my light? What better way could I spend my time than by trying to make an impact? Isn’t it more important to ask for help than to stand here, an island, unable to progress? Isn’t it scarier not to try at all, than to end up failing?
I went to gain clarity, and each day I uncovered more and more details about the message that I want to share with the world, and who specifically I want to work with. I decided that I most like to help women heal their current relationships with family, lovers and community by magnifying their own inner power and releasing past suffering. Sound familiar? It is often those most like us that we are meant to serve. Realizing this gave me the strength to clean things up with some people in my life, as a way of truly walking my talk.
I learned a lot last weekend, not the least of which was to believe in myself and to open the fuck up. We are here on earth to relate to one another, to figure out how to do this ‘human’ thing and to do whatever we can to pull ourselves and others out of suffering. I’m so delighted to be on this journey with you, and I am so inspired about the changes I’m making in my life right now, thanks to Thrive Academy and their dream team of Coaches and Holistic Practitioners. If anyone wants to hear more about it, feel free to contact me Zenlunatix at g mail dot com
And so it goes… Stay tuned for more magic as this next year catches fire.
About two years ago I read a book called Miracles Happen by Brian Weiss. I had an epiphany that healing through hypnosis and past life regression is something I am meant to do. I got my name on the waiting list for a five day intensive workshop with Dr. Weiss and imagined all the magical things that would occur if my name were to be called and I were to fly to upstate New York to experience one of Weiss’ workshops at the Omega Institute. I drew a giant Omega symbol on my bathroom mirror. I crossed my fingers and wrote about how much I wanted to go. Last June I got a phone call asking me if I was ready to register. I didn’t have the money but I said yes, and told them I’d pay whatever I could whenever it came to me. The passage that follows was written shortly after my return from Omega a month ago. Yesterday I registered for a hypnotherapy certification course and am delighted to announce that I see this beautiful and inspiring road stretching out before me and I will hopefully be touring the country to practice on all my loved ones soon…
I’m finding myself squinting into the light of life post-Omega. I expected transformation. I expected profound awakenings. I expected soul mates and clarity and a new skill-set to take back into the world with me. I received almost all of these things, along with jet-lag and emotional exhaustion. I believe I got exactly what I was meant to.
I saw a man connect with a total stranger whom he shared past lives with, coming to the realization that she was his grandfather reincarnated. I made sure to nag him to have her meet his father, still living, if at all possible. I am hoping that they can all three make amends for the things in the past that they regret and forgive each other from a new place of understanding. They are having a reunion as I type this.
I saw myself as a child, making very clear and correct decisions based on my intuition. This was followed by years of emotional abuse, where I forged water-tight walls around my heart in order to protect myself. The abuse having ended half a lifetime ago, I realized the very sturdy barrier that I had up against the rest of the world was no longer necessary. If my intuition was strong and accurate at six years old, why would it be less so now? I will know when someone sounds my inner alarm, and can then protect myself. Having this realization allowed me to begin tearing that wall down. During an exercise we did, I was able to identify my upper back and shoulder pain as my physical manifestation of that shield of armor and release it. The pain is still gone and I’d like to think my ‘hunted’ persona is fading as well.
I saw moments in my past that I had forgotten and found love for myself that I had yet to allow myself to accept. I held my grandfathers hand between worlds and saw another life that I shared with my father. I regressed a classmate and wrote furiously as his spirit guides answered all the questions I could come up with. I softened my shell and I now feel very deeply in love despite my current fragility.
I will be forever changed by this workshop and am thrilled to follow the white rabbit as it leads me to more experiences in this work. I plan on taking a hypnotherapy certification course in late November. Until then I’ll be practicing on whoever I can find, and trying to piece together the wealth of insights I received in the past week. Today I struggled through traffic and bills and red tape. I yelled at ‘bad’ drivers in my way. And then the universe fed me a couple game-changers. Two people crossed my path and shifted my awareness back to benevolence. The universe will test us, it will pull us through the muck but it will pull us out again too. There is light through the darkness. And the roller-coaster rides on, like a slow-motion strobe light. Take a nice deep breath, and feel yourself relaxing.