It feels like I’m clutching, white knuckled, trying to hold on but with my hands wide open and chained to my sides. Smiling in hope or fear I cant decide which. Dissatisfaction is a state of mind. Some people come into your life to change you. Catalysts in the path to personal evolution. Take a deep breath.
Some people pop in merely for a moment to appreciate you, or piss you off. Or you fall in love for a week and you are completely changed. Forever. This world will never look the same as it did last week. That’s a good thing. Change with it. Want things. Go crazy about things. Wake up and hurt sometimes. Feel it. You are alive. Now let it go.
Take action, create opportunity and all at once give up control. Even if it only lasted a moment… that moment proved things to me. Things I never thought I’d feel or allow or open up to. Things I once thought myself immune to. I’m open now. Broke. Tired. Driving. Crazy. But wide open. And smiling in spite of doubt and endless unanswered questions. With a brain I cant shut off and a shit-eating grin.
Just try to say no.
Try to hurt me.
Its worth it.
Im open
The Great Rucksack Revolution 
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DAMN you write well !!!!!!!